Water-skiing at Großbeeren

Yesterday night I took my second Water-skiing course. I was super excited.

When I took it for the first time, I used a board and always fell into the water at the very first(not more than 2 meters). I was pretty much desperate. 2 hours of practicing and no progress. Watching others heading front of you didn't feel good, especially when you are very wet.

I am a person who likes hiding away from things, always having great fears.

Yesterday I eat a lot of meal all day preparing for the tiring evening. Went out of the door at 7:25 and took the phone instruction to take the public transportation from Berlin to Großbeeren, which I must change 3-4 times. When I arrived the city 1.5 hours later, I realized I have to walk 15 minutes and take another bus which comes every 30 minutes or even more. So I walked on the highway(No road for the pedestrian), with cars and trucks whizzing past me. That is kind of sad.

Sunset was beautiful. I started to think of going home, watching some movies and maybe go to the gym, eating some müsli. I looked up at my phone, it took only about 1 hour to get back. But I thought of Rocco, who asked last time about why I was not there(I went to Freiburg last week). And I promised him to come. I cannot break the promise….but he will forgive me if I excuse about my tiredness and the transportation problems.

Anyway, I forced myself to go to class, although I am super afraid of facing water and people, and failure. When I go to the bus stop, I looked up my phone the way back home again. I hesitated a bit because the bus to the class share the same route to my home, only if I take a few stops more. On the bus I started to fight myself again, to go or not to go, home, sweet home. But somehow I push the stop button, and bus stop at the class location. I stood at the entrance, watching people doing water-skiing, watching the fierce big dog sleeping quietly, watching sunset turning purple, it´s beautiful. I don´t know how I should walk there, how I should greet people. I´d like to be alone, although when I'm alone I don't feel well. So during this thought, I just stood there about 5 minutes, until I saw someone seeming to have spotted me. But I'm not sure because I´m near-sighted. But to avoid the awkwardness I decided to go against all my thoughts.

I saw the familiar faces. I smiled and try only to say the necessary words to show politeness. I don´t want to practice my German anymore and I don´t want to do the stupid rejection challenge(I borrowed 1 euro at train station and bargain, which didn’t work). It makes me tired at heart. I got changed and after listening to Rocco´s advice, I took the easier ski-board(2 parts) rather than the first one(one part).

The First try, I got about 5 meters. The second try, I got 10 meters. The third try, I got into the water at the very first. But I got up and tried again. And then I just skied further and further. Every time I got a bit further. I even tried to stand up and I felt so great, watching the sunset melting into water. Even falling into water is quite enjoyable. I was wet, I still don´t want to talk, but that is because I am so happy and so proud of myself.

I did it. I fight myself. I feel that I am a conqueror. And I will surely do better next time.

And I must be very thankful to Rocco, who are so kind and patient and always help me building up my confidence.